In the 1960s, you would have been able to spot the difference between a computer, and any other device. In fact, it would have been really easy, considering that desktops were so big that they filled entire rooms.
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Today, we find ourselves surrounding by computers that blend in with tablets and books. If they ever decide to rebel (rather with forceful violence a la the Terminator, or sociopathic creepiness like Hal), humanity has a hard task ahead of itself.
What’s the best way to prepare yourself for the inevitable computer Armageddon? Identify all of the computers that control aspects of your life: you’ll find that many perform essential tasks.
We’ve become so dependent on them that we even design numerous devices to accomplish similar tasks, such as telling time, or spreading rumors. These devices go by numerous names, but we rarely call them computers. If we can’t reclaim that word, then humanity might as well say “Hasta la vista, Baby.”
The Ultimate Media Machine
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Think that your beloved TV will stick with you after the computer rebellion? Not unless you’re holding on to ancient model from that era of technology known as the 20th century. Today’s televisions are the ultimate media machines: engineers have reached that goal by replacing analog parts with tiny computers.
You won’t find a cathode ray tube inside your television these days. No, it’s filled with tons of circuit boards performing countless calculations. Who knew that an episode of That’s So Raven required such smart technology?
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Televisions aren’t working by themselves these days; they’ve teamed up with other devices. With a Nintendo Wii, for instance, you can stream Hulu’s television shows and movies directly to your TV. Wii, PS3, and other devices will even let you stream content from services such as Netflix while browsing other sites.
All of that means that your television is getting increasingly Web savvy. It can’t be long until they use these powers to conspire with each other and overthrow mankind.
The Incredible Shrinking Computer
If you get worried thinking about the upper hand televisions will have during a robot revolution, then you’ll be terrified when you think about your cell phone. Cell phones have become so sophisticated that we even call them smartphones.
And just think, you keep that smart little schemer in your pocket. You let it monitor every phone call and text message. You allow it to keep an eye on every website you visit. Don’t you know that they’re the most trusted informers for the robot revolution?
Today’s smartphones are tiny computers. The iPhone, for instance, isn’t really a phone. It’s more like a pocket-sized computer. The ability to place phone calls almost seems like an afterthought.
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When you consider that this handheld device has the ability to record video, connect to the Internet, play movies, buy consumer products, access your bank account, and interpret voicemail as readable text, you start to wonder why Apple chose to use the diminutive “i.”
Yeah, But Can a Book Tell Time?
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It’s not just cell phones that have turned into little computers: even today’s books include such a dazzling array of media and networking options that it is hard to categorize them. e-Readers offer many of the same technological wonders as computers and smartphones.
The iPad, for instance, can connect to the Internet through wireless networks, play movies, let you enjoy graphics-intense video games, as well as some pretty creative uses. The Nook offers similar features, making one wonder why anyone would pick up a paper book, again.
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After all, your copy of Moby Dick might be timeless fiction, but it can’t actually tell time. e-Readers do that, plus help you stay connected with friends, keep up with current events and trends, and slowly go brain dead watching inane YouTube videos. Then again, your paperback books aren’t going to rise up to slay humanity any day now. That’s a definite advantage.
The Key Controls Your Identity
Here’s something truly frightening: computers now control your identity. How so? Through key fobs and security tokens that have replaced security passwords and mechanical keys, your identity has become fluid.
Electronic key fobs are small pieces of hardware (cough, cough, computers, cough) that confirm your identity to other devices (cough, cough), such as ATMs, security systems, and automobiles. Some of them, for instance, are little USB drives that you stick into a system’s port. Others use radio signals and Bluetooth technology to transmit your identity to machines.
Now for the creepy part: smartphones have the ability to act as security tokens. Computer programmers use Java programs to simulate the security token’s function. Viola, the smartphone has taken another step towards complete world control.
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Soon, you’ll find that you can’t even make a purchase without your phone. Why? Smartphones now have the ability to make credit card payments in retail stores. As computers start to blur the lines between devices, it is easy to see the Techno Rapture approach.
There is No Escape: Your Car Will Kill You
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Think that you can escape the ire of technology in your car? Think again. Many cars have as many as 50 microprocessors in them. Sure, this offers enhanced safety features, gives you better control of the vehicle, and makes problems easier to diagnose; but that’s only as long as computers comply with human control.
Plus, some car manufacturers are now installing wireless Internet routers in their vehicles. That’s going to make it much easier for the robot overlords to track human movement and keep an eye on rebels fighting for the rights of meat-based organisms.
CONCLUSION
There’s no doubt that the future is scary. Now that you can identify some of the most common computers in your life, though, you have a fighting chance. Stick to your guns; as long as those guns don’t have microchips in them (microchips are just tiny computers), and you might survive the Robot Uprising.
At the very least, you might be able to live as your smartphone’s pet.
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It’s not enough just to play the newest and the greatest online games any longer; today’s players want to utilize hands-free voice chat programs so they don’t have to type while playing. In fact, this has become so useful that some of the newer games have voice chat capabilities built right into the game interface.
